Rach's Ramblings

Thoughts from another world

Shadows under my eyes…

                                                             

Are there dark circles under my eyes today? Is my face lined and drawn? 

These are the marks of the presence of my companion, my Shadow that never leaves me. 

You see, he prods me in the darkest hours of the night. He watches me sleep and then stirs me to wakefulness. He jams hard fingers into me to ensure my eyes are wakeful till the first morning light. It is a cruel game. His skill is perfected as he tweaks and pulls and causes me to stumble. His place of strength – the stairs, the slopes, the rocky path. He is gleeful to see my hesitation. 

Sometimes he hugs me so close that I can hardly breathe and other times he withdraws to a distance and then strikes me unawares. He has no concern for time or place- his only purpose to strike me and break me. 

His name? It is pain. 

  

I fight him often.  Other times I accept his company. Push him away or console myself to him. Patiently bear him or angrily curse him. Bravely face him or turn my face and run from him. Our relationship is troubled. I never invited him to walk with me but for 28 years he has lurked nearby. Sometimes closer, sometimes further away.

Perhaps you know him too. He plagues many, oh so many.

But my Shadow makes me strong too- strong enough to be made weak and able to rely on my helper- my other constant companion- my Light. 

                                                                  

My Light shines through my Shadow and lets little beams of radiance fall on me.
My Light rises between my Shadow and I and takes the blows meant for me.
When my Shadow wants to squeeze me to despair my Light enters me and I am strong and invincible.
Other times he redirects the attacks so the Shadow helps shape me; knocks off hard edges and softens my heart. 

 The Shadow even has beauty when viewed through my Light. I can only bear one when I am assured of the other.
Light with Shadow- darkness and light. 

                                                            

“Life is full of light and shadow 

O the joy and O the sorrow 

O the sorrow 
And yet will He bring 

Dark to light 

And yet will He bring 

Day from night 
When shadows fall on us 

We will not fear 

We will remember 
When all seems lost 

When we’re thrown and we’re tossed 

We remember the cost 

We rest in Him 

Shadow of the cross”
‘Shadows’ Dave Crowder Band. 

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