Rach's Ramblings

Thoughts from another world

The Road Home

on November 4, 2013

There is a moment on my way home where I am hit with a deep expectation. As the car tops the crest and travels through the gap in the divide I see a vista of still beauty spread before me. I see dear, familiar farm houses dotted into the distance. I see our hill to the left and I see the dust lift on the dirt road that winds down to our farm. I am home.

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No matter where I have been, over oceans or simply into town, that is the moment of homecoming.
Home. Oh how deeply rooted I am to that place. It is the soil I am planted in and the tendrils of my soul have spread deeply and drawn fully of its sustenance.
It calls to me here in India. It calls in the slant of evening light on trees. It calls in the memories. It calls in a single word. It’s as though it is sending messages on the breeze, reminding me of who I am and always will be.

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There is another road that speaks of home. A narrow, enchanting road, that winds between ancient gums and smaller saplings. It leads to my grandmothers and to buckets of memories and joys. It is long enough for ample thought and quiet enough for the thoughts to be unhindered. It has inviting twists and turns and has many different faces of beauty on its way.

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Both roads speak of homecoming. But they also speak of leaving. One direction arrival and another departure. One direction anticipation of familiar welcome and another direction unknown adventure. Each departure for a distant land leaves me wrenched. I am hesitant to arrive and to love as I await the leaving and loss; as they ebb and flow into each other I am tossed in their meeting place. I begin to believe that the only survival is in restraining my connection and oneness with home so that I can leave with less pain. A futile suggestion…

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I cannot separate myself from my roots no more than I can not be who I am. I will allow myself to love and live and connect and will believe that it is better for such a thing to end that to never have happened at all. There is no true loss if strength and renewal is gained and I am sent out once more into the world. Home is a thing of such beauty- I am enhanced by it. I can love it utterly as long as I am not restrained by it and lulled into forgetfulness of God’s future for me. The road will always be there, leading me out….and drawing me home.

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5 responses to “The Road Home

  1. Adrienne says:

    Wow rachel such words bring a tear.

  2. Michelle says:

    so deep and meaningful Rach also bought tears to my eyes just beautiful words from a beautiful friend.

  3. Renata says:

    Beautiful writing, beautiful country, beautiful heart. Praying for you. X

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