I have written before about the inexorable march of time, and now once again, we have moved into a stage of counting the moments.
Four months until we leave India and with the packing of the first box, comes a beginning of a new stage of our lives.
How does it feel?
Well, it feels big and emotional and heart filling.
We are already having our ‘lasts’ and we are seeing our surroundings with the new eyes of wonder that are the gift of imminent departure.
I remember the same thing happening when we left Australia, where everything is enhanced and the difficulties are not the focus anymore- and instead it’s just drinking in the wonderful. Having new appreciation for the small things- the faces of those we love, the views of the misty mountains, the jungle sounds heard from our porch, being known and loved.
I guess that’s one of the best things about leaving a place- it makes you take stock and weigh down each moment rather than being lost in the bustle and monotony of daily life.
We have walked this leaving process with so many friends and are therefore more aware of the potential pitfalls. The temptation can be to leave too early and to distance yourselves from people in an attempt of self preservation. Thankfully, I am not feeling this urge, and instead feel excited to pour into relationships in a fresh way, with the certainty that there is always something to be gained and given, even if the ‘sharing community’ with them is about to end.
The focus of our conversations as a family now is on leaving and arriving. We are trying to learn the language of transition all over again, with children that are no longer little enough for most emotions to disappear in the excitement of catching a plane.
The boys are all suddenly finding themselves heartbroken to be leaving. We knew that Levi would struggle as our longest cross cultural child, but now Josh and Samuel are feeling the leaving hugely too. They find it hard to wrap their minds and hearts around the fact that the next time they say goodbye and make the winding trip down the mountain, it won’t be just for a holiday, but for good.
We have decided to make the move to Geelong. This was not an easy or quick decision but is the result of much prayers and soul searching. It feels scary and new, but we feel that this is where God is leading us and He has confirmed this with His incredible provisions- a house and a great school for the boys on a part scholarship! We are now only needing a job for Andy, but everything else has fallen into place.
So Australia feels uncertain to us now. Although it is familiar in so many ways, it has so many unknowns for us. New friends, new school, new jobs, new beginnings and those things are always daunting.
Here, we are known and there we have to become known, and therein lies the wondering and uncertainty.
But we hold tight to the memory of God’s unfailing grace and compassion to us in the past. We never imagined that life in India would be so rich and full and that God would make a way for us so completely- but He did and He will again, we are certain of that!
He is faithful. He is trustworthy. He is love!
There’s a good chance I’m going to cry every day from now until we leave. I can’t even imagine what those final days here will be like, and perhaps it’s better not to.
One day at a time. One step at a time. Just doing the next thing until the next thing is goodbye.